


'Owls Are The Worst' By Keiji Akaashi

by Anonymous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Rituals, brief mentions of nonsexual nudity, owl shifter Bokuto, spells, witch akaashi, witch and familiar au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: When trying to gain a familiar, a pesky owl interrupts Akaashi's ritual and instead bonds to him as his familiar for life. Take note of this: Owls are the worst. They make a mess, have no concept of personal space, and have an irritating way of worming their way right into your heart.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49
Collections: Fanfic Anonymous





	'Owls Are The Worst' By Keiji Akaashi

**Author's Note:**

> Is this one of my least favorite works I've written in a long time? Yes.  
> Am I still gonna post it and subject it to you all? Yes.  
> Am I stressed from school and just needed to post nonsense? Yes.

Anonymous asks: How do you get rid of an owl (I meant for it to be a cat) that won’t leave your house?

The post was deleted after three minutes. He didn’t wait for answers to pool in or for at least one person to read about and recognize his struggle. He just leaned back in his wicker chair and sighed through his nose as loud clattering echoed from the kitchen. 

A month is a long time. It’s around thirty days, enough time to form a habit. For example, it should be long enough for him to get used to an owl as his new roommate. It hasn’t been.

Thirty or so days ago, Akaashi set out into the night with a dagger in hand and a dark cloak wrapped around his otherwise bare body. The moon was high in the sky, full and perfect for rituals. On any other night like this, Akaashi would be bathing in moonlight and pouring cold water over his head as he whispered prayers under the sky. Afterwards, he’d head to one of his shrines and present gifts he created or gathered. However, that night he had slightly different plans in mind. 

He first had to be cleansed though, so shivering by the riverside was inevitable. It was worse in the winter, where he’d stumbled through the snow to the bank and then throw himself in the moment he tore his cloak off. He’d remind himself bitterly that purity rituals weren’t as genuine unless he was in his natural form without any obstructions to the moon, something he loathed to remember monthly. In the meantime, he’d be rushing through recited lines before clawing his way out and into his cloak. He’d run home before frostbite set in, and if it did, he had all month to take care of it before he had to repeat it again. When he could bear the temperature of the water, he preferred just kneeling beside the water, scooping the water in his hands, then pouring it on his head over and over. He got less wet that way, and it worked regardless. 

He set the dagger down beside him and went through his prayers. When he was done, he used his towel to dry some of his hair before doning it once more and grasping his dagger. 

“Little known fact about magic,” Akaashi frowned as he pressed the blade to the palm of his hand, “purity rituals increase magical capabilities for a brief time period, so this better work or I’m going to… do something bad.”

He winced at how lame he sounded before he pressed his bleeding hand to the dirt and announced a spell he learned well. As the words poured out of him, a thick cloud of black swirling smoke began to creep from the soil under his hand. A smile crept onto his hand the larger the void got. 

He understood how bad this looked. He was bloody and had a large black form looming over him. It wasn’t dangerous though, but he’d also never recommend anyone try this spell. The reason he wanted to do it, needed to, was absolutely not worth the consequences that followed during and after the summoning. So, any young witches and warlocks reading this, or anyone entertaining that this may not be a joke- Please, don’t seek out a spell for familiars. 

A howl echoed out of the shadowy form in front of him, and he pushed his cloak aside enough to poke his unmarred hand out and toward the creature. “My name is Keiji Akaashi. Let me take care of you.” 

A large black paw reached forward, claws reflecting off the moonlight. He winced as it neared his wrist, but it was nothing compared to the fear that struck his heart when a loud screech hit his ears and something clamped down on his arm in a vice like grip. He cried out at the tight pain and the sight of red trickling down his skin and onto the grass as the black void reared back and dispelled in seconds. 

He jerked his hand from the ground and fell back to the grass, eyes wide as he tried to focus on what was moving on his arm, moving it’s claws back and forth, burying into his skin again. He tried to shake the heavy weight off, but it was fruitless and only served to make the sensation worse.

When he managed to wipe his tears away, he could finally see the creature clamped down on him. It was a large owl with grey and white feathers puffed out. It had big yellow eyes that locked on him, but it seemed to understand the pain in his gaze since it hopped off his arm right after and settled in the grass by his feet. 

Akaashi scrambled away from it, hurrying to wrap his arm in his cloak to soak up the blood. “D-Do you know what you’d done, you stupid, st-”

He cut himself off with a hiccup. He wondered if it would have hurt more to have been scratched by a demon cat or a dumb owl to seal their bond, but it didn’t matter. He was hurt and he wanted to go home and kick his wall pathetically and bandage his wounds.

“You can’t understand me, can you?” Akaashi whispered, staggering his feet. The owl flew into a nearby tree, eyes remaining on him. He ran a hand through his damp hair and cackled. “I’ve never heard of someone using a wild beast as their familiar unless it was their fucking housecat. Great job, Keiji. You had one fucking job, one chance to get a familiar for life and now you have a literal wild animal on your hands. Dumbass. Can you even train an owl?”

The owl didn’t flinch at his ramblings, but it did have the audacity to follow Akaashi to his small home in the woods. It waited patiently for him to open his door, then let itself in. Akaashi reached to grab it out of the air and force it outside, but a burning sensation flooded his arm and held him back. Instead, he closed the door with a grunt as the owl perched on the back of his single dining room chair. It’s head swiveled as it looked around the room, its eyes taking in every little detail of the frankly pathetic living space Akaashi occupied.

He hoped it wasn’t laughing internally at the bags of cat food he bought that were piled in the corner. Perhaps if it decided to stay it could make use of the hundreds of cat toys and the cat tower he bought last time he went to town. He wouldn’t dare return all of it. People thought he was bizarre for never actually coming down to interact with others, and they had a field day when they learned he’d be getting a pet soon. If he returned it all now, it’d be embarrassing. What would they think? The hermit up the hill can’t even take care of a cat? 

He took off his cloak and wrapped his arm and hand. The wounds weren’t deep enough for hospitalization, or so he hoped. The talon marks were worse and he promised any god that listened that if they just left him without infection or disease from this, he’d devote his life to them as well as his usual deity. Once he was done, he put on a pair of shorts and a shirt. After, he crept to his bedroom only to scowl upon finding the owl in his bed, nestling amongst the sheets. 

“The effects of this can’t be reversed,” Akaashi announced as he threw open a window, then flopped onto the white sheets of his bed. The owl hooted as it was jostled, but it settled again without more complaints. “You will live as long as I do, and my magical energy will pour into you. If you wish to leave, do so whenever. If you make a mess, I will turn you into a feather duster.”

It chattered its beak at him like a mother shushing a child. Akaashi resisted the urge to kick it gently with frustration. He fell asleep with the hope of waking up to an empty bed, the owl having found something much more interesting outside. 

Akaashi woke up warm. Sunlight bathed him from the window, blinding him with its rays. He smiled and turned in the sheets to feel the untouched warmth of the other side. As he did, he felt a heavy weight on his middle. His lips twitched and his eyes slid closed. “You didn’t leave yet…? I can open a can of cat food if you want, just give me a second to wake up.”

A soft rumble came from behind him, a lot higher up than he anticipated. “Do you have real food…?”

Akaashi shot up.

The weight on his arm flopped off as he struggled out of the sheets and turned around. His feet didn’t stop moving backwards until he stumbled into the wall, hand reaching out to grip the smooth wall. Laying there beside him was a large figure that was definitely not an owl.

In fact, from what he could see amidst the pillows and blankets, there was a full grown, naked man in his bed. Man in his bed. The window was open. 

Without further thought, Akaashi threw his hand up and casted a spell. In moments the sheets that once were draped lazily around the bed had tightened around the man like a python, holding him still, though admittedly he didn’t even try to struggle, and covering him from Akaashi’s gaze besides his face, which stared blankly at him as if he didn’t notice that Akaashi used magic. 

“I… guess I’ll take cat food then…?” He whispered, grey hair drooping as he frowned at Akaashi.

“How the fuck did you find my house and why?” Akaashi growled. “I’m calling the police.”

“You can’t!” The man exclaimed as Akaashi debated just leaving to get the landline in the living room.

“Yes, I can. You broke into my house and are n-naked and-”

“You invited me in!” The man was wriggling now, but relaxed when he realized the blankets were only getting tighter. “And if the police came and saw you using magic to hold me down, then you’d be in trouble too!”

Well, that was correct, but Akaashi wasn’t going to allow him the satisfaction of knowing that. “I didn’t do that! I don’t even know your name!”

“Y-You don’t?” The man gasped. He was a good actor; his disbelief almost made Akaashi second guess himself. “Keiji, we are friends! You know me- we always hang out together, and you let me in yesterday after I saved you.”

He’s never seen this man before in his life.He knew that. He wouldn’t have forgotten a mug like that, possessing weird grey hair on his head. He’d be able to recall those big… yellow… eyes... “Saved me?”

“Yeah! There was a scary thing coming at you so I scared it off!” If he was freed, Akaashi could imagine his chest puffing out with pride, like a bird. Like an owl. 

Akaashi slid down the wall until he sat on the ground. Just his luck. He didn’t get any old owl as a familiar. With a wave of his hand, the sheets released the shape shifter from its binds and the owl-man was at his sides in seconds, a sheet wrapped around him to hide his body. “I didn’t mean to scare you- If I am shifted during the night I can’t actually change back until sunrise. It’s lame, I know, and it doesn’t make communicating easy. I really didn’t mean to hurt or scare you yesterday. Is your arm okay, Keiji?”

The owl-man touched his bandaged arm with a frown on his lips. A soft coo came from his throat. It rattled in Akaashi’s skull as he tried to come to terms with his blunder. “We’ve met before?”

The owl-man tilted his head, eyebrows furrowing. “Yes? We walk with each other most nights! I mean, I fly with you, but we have fun and walk around… You do remember that, right? That’s why you made me your familiar!” 

That was most certainly not the case, but Akaashi’s throat was getting too dry and he needed coffee to wake him up to his fate. Now. He slowly pulled his arm away from the owl-man and cradled it to his chest. 

“This is all a bit of a shock to me, please give me-”

“It’s alright, Keiji!” The owl-man chirped. “It is a bit weird to learn I’m a shifter. I didn’t mean to hide it for so long, but the moon just calls me to that form, you know? If I’m outside for too long, I just HAVE to transform! It’s like a breath of fresh air. Oh, I’m Koutaro Bokuto by the way!”

Bokuto never ended up using the cat tower or any of the cat food, which started collecting dust in the corner. He also never ended up leaving, much to Akaashi’s confusion. He wouldn’t have expected Bokuto to stay long, but he didn’t seem bothered by the crammed home, nor did he mind helping Akaashi reach plants by flying up. When Akaashi first complained about Bokuto being too big to share the bed, Bokuto just started transforming into an owl so he fit better, but would end up in human form by morning, tangling and drooling on Akaashi’s shoulder. Nowadays, Akaashi didn’t bother to grumble over it since it wasn’t like it would change anything anyways. 

This was hardly the worst of Bokuto. He made a mess whenever he tried to cook to surprise Akaashi with breakfast in bed. Occasionally he’d drink one of Akaashi’s potions when he felt neglected so Akaashi could baby him until he found out what was wrong and how to fix it. Worst yet, Akaashi woke one morning to something cold and wet resting on his ankle. When he looked over, he felt the blood drain out of his face. 

“KOU!” He shouted, ripping his legs away from the mangled mound on his sheets. Bokuto jogged in, a wide smile on his lips. 

“‘Ji! Did you see what I brought you?” He paused when he saw Akaashi shaking with either rage or disgust, neither really knew. 

“Get it off.” Akaashi whispered, voicing getting louder as he repeated himself. Bokuto shivered and hobbled over to the bed. He plucked up the dead mouse from the sheets before tugging the blankets around with his other hand, a pout on his lips. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the rest?” 

Akaashi never felt the need to kill someone as much as he did with Bokuto as the owl shifter collected a total of five dead mice from his bed. He was going to puke. 

“I thought you’d like them,” Bokuto sighed as he dropped them into the waste bin by the dresser. He tied the bag right after, then hoisted it out. “I was hunting for you! I thought you’d think it was thoughtful.”

“Perhaps other owls would find that sweet,” Akaashi hissed, “but I’m a vegetarian. I wouldn’t even use those in spells, let alone eat them.”

Bokuto froze. “... Ah.”

After that, to Akaashi’s surprise, Bokuto didn’t bring him dead mice anymore. He also didn’t bring in live mice. No, instead he managed to find the old cat toys Akaashi bought and would put them in the bed for Akaashi to find later. To encourage the behavior, Akaashi hid the toys throughout the house during the day to keep Bokuto busy and away from real pests. 

That was perhaps the worst thing Bokuto had ever done. Everything else was easy to deal with or work around, like when Akaashi has to wipe down Bokuto’s wings to help clean him, or when Bokuto gets in an affectionate mood and cuddles up with him on the couch and insists Akaashi read to him from one of his books or talk about magic he’s practicing. Occasionally Bokuto decides to spend the night in nature to hunt and fly about and Akaashi has to make sure he remembers where the spare key is and sends him off with a kiss on the cheek. It was a hassle for sure, but he did his best. 

Whenever he headed into town, he made sure to buy meat for Bokuto. When he felt too nervous to go alone, Bokuto would link their arms and guide him around, gushing over cool looking trinkets. Akaashi usually ended up buying them and surprising Bokuto with them after he made dinner for the two of them much later in the day. Bokuto would coo like he was in owl form and march it over to a shelf that used to hold Akaashi’s potion bottles, but has since been cleared so Bokuto could have more space in their home. The bottles now sat in a box pushed in the far corner of a closet.

Yes, living with an owl was a lot of work. 

Akaashi sighed to himself as he gathered some bread he made yesterday to give to his alter later. His cloak was waiting for him by the door, and soon enough he’d be on his way for his monthly prayer and then give his altar offerings. Bokuto had been sitting in the living room for the past hour, hunched over materials Akaashi didn’t need and gave him permission to take. 

He walked into the room, a basket of bread tucked in his arm. “Kou, I’m going to be heading out soon. Do you want to come with me?”

Bokuto hummed, putzing around a little more with the stuff he had on the ground. “One second!” 

Akaashi smiled and nodded. In the meantime, he tugged off his shoes and socks. He left them by the door, but paused before unbuttoning his shirt since Bokuto stood suddenly and rushed over. In his large hands was a small vial from Akaashi’s box which he then thrust towards Akaashi’s face. “I made you a potion!”

“Oh,” Akaashi took the vial, swishing it around. He knew Bokuto couldn’t read his books, most of them weren’t in Japanese, or were enchanted to jumble the words purposefully. 

“Yes!” Bokuto nodded eagerly. “You have to drink it. Don’t worry, it’s veterinarian…. Vehicular…. Ventriloquist… van..”

“Vegetarian,” Akaashi corrected with a laugh. He eyed the materials on the ground, noting a distinct lack of anything poisonous before putting the vial to his lips and gulping it down. It tasted bland, and it lacked everything that magical potions usually had. When a magical thing was consumed, you could feel it in your bones. This was a botched potion at best, complete nonsense at worst. 

“Do you feel different?” Bokuto asked, rocking on his heels. Akaashi set the vial on the table, wiping the leftovers on his lips from his sleeve. 

“Mm, maybe,” Akaashi teased, “how am I supposed to feel? Are you trying to turn me into an owl too?”

“No!” Bokuto shook his head. “Though now that I think about it…. Nah, I won’t do that. Yet.”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow, then shook his head. “Then what type of potion was it?”

Bokuto’s cheeks turned pink as he glanced away. A pout graced his lips and Akaashi smiled when it appeared. He reached up a hand to cup his cheek and ran a thumb over his smooth skin. “Fine, keep your secrets. I’ll be leaving now.”

He leaned up to press a goodbye kiss to Bokuto’s forehead. As he pulled away, Bokuto caught his now-healed wrist and tugged him closer, though it lacked the energy to make him stumble. Instead, Akaashi willingly followed his insistent pull until they were closer. 

“Yes?” Akaashi hummed with a tilted head. “Words, Bokuto.”

Bokuto fidgetted. “... More?”

Akaashi’s eyebrows furrowed before he noted Bokuto turning his face to the side a bit more, cheeks turning redder. He grinned and pressed a kiss to Bokuto’s cheek, then trailed up to press several kisses to Bokuto’s face until Bokuto was squirming and giggling under his breath, color now rivaling a tomato. “K-Kaashi! S-Stop!”

Akaashi pulled away with a laugh. 

Bokuto took a moment to collect himself, then nodded. “And you really don’t feel any different..?”

“The same as always,” Akaashi assured, “I’ll help you make a new potion when I get back, okay?”

Bokuto paused, playing with his hands as he mulled over the thought. “Mm… maybe.. Uh, first though, can I wish you goodbye too? For good luck with the ritual?”

Akaashi tilted his head. “You may..?”

Bokuto flashed him a nervous grin as Akaashi tilted his head to the side to offer Bokuto his cheek. Bokuto stepped forward, his smile fading as he reached up and grabbed Akaashi’s chin. The younger man jolted in surprise, and it didn’t fade as Bokuto leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before Bokuto backed away. He waved to Akaashi wildly, retreating fast into the living room, almost tripping over furniture as he did. 

“Okaybyehaveagoodtimeseeyouwhenyougethome!” Bokuto exclaimed, voice trembling and eyes purposefully avoiding Akaashi. Akaashi brushed his fingers up to his lips, eyes dazed as he relived the event. Then he frowned.

“Kou.”

Bokuto shuffled to hide partially behind the dinky living room couch. “Kash.”

Akaashi sighed through his nose in irritation. He set his basket on the ground and marched over, eyebrows twitching with annoyance as he approached the owl, who trembled and ducked to hide as much as he could despite that he was clearly there. Akaashi sat on the arm of the couch, glancing over the side to bore holes in Bokuto’s skull. 

“That wasn’t much of a goodbye kiss,” Akaashi noted with a frown, “I thought you wanted me to have good luck?”

Bokuto sank further down in the corner. “I did…”

“Alright… So are you going to kiss me again, or do I have to go down there?” 

Bokuto shot up in seconds, eyes wide. It wasn’t long before Akaashi was being littered with excited kisses all over his face and neck, held tightly to Bokuto’s chest as if he was about to slip away. He rolled his eyes as Bokuto struggled to hold back his smile as he kissed him again and again. 

Owls really are a hassle.


End file.
